The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
