Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
