Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
