I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
