He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
