sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
