So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
