i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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