I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
