Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
