As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
