girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
