The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
