When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You ate ashes out of my bong
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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