i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
