dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
