He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
