Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we made out on top of his cat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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