i don't plan on having that self control this summer
People in love make me want to vomit
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
