DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Randomize
