Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I cannot find my penis.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
