what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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