Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
