Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
