Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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