Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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