yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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