Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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