I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
