He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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