I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
