It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
