And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You work out of a Hotel?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
