um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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