ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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