I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
