I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
