I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
