did you get engaged???
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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