thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
