I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
