he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
