Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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