i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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