It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
