The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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