Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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