I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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