AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
