Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
wakey wakey hands off snakey
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
