I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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